I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Soap is not a condiment
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
