i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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