i barfeds in our rink
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
