Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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