Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
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I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
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I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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