I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
