i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
