so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize