I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
