i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
