I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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