Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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