If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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