I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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