But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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