i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
