I just cut my nipple shaving
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
