His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
