google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Dating After Heartbreak
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday