Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
