We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
