this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
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I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
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I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.