Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
