3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
