We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
