So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
