just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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