You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
