just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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