unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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