I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize
