these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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