you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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