Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
