Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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