So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize