just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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