ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
