i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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