Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
