Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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