I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
