When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Randomize
