i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I just want to make out with him forever
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
