you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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