I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
