I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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