is wine microwaveable?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
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im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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