Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
