Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
only if we run a train.
done.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
