he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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