Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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