she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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