So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
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Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
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The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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