You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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