Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
