when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
