That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
