i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
