No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
