The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
