Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
