Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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