whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
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she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
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He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know