i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
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let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
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You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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