We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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