The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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