I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
