he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
