how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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